I have been told, even from a very young age, that I have no patience. When I want something, I want it there and then. In terms of getting things done, this has had its advantages, but more often than not, a lack of patience has caused me to rush into things and make many mistakes.
As the weeks go by in China, I realise that my patience is in training. The frustrating experiences are like weights are to muscles, pushing me to the point of exhaustion. It’s tiring, hard work and can be painful. But, like muscles, through time and persistence, my patience is becoming bigger and stronger.
There are many issues you come across living in China, that require patience. Communicating being the more obvious, teaching would be another. But I have found that the most patience is in fact needed for myself.
This realisation came from my Assistant Teacher, Kelly. After studying Mandarin for an hour over lunch, I returned to my classroom to discover I could remember nothing of what I had just been learning. I mentioned my frustration to Kelly, who was also sat studying English. She simply said, ‘more patience.’
More patience.
Two very simple words, with such an important meaning. There are so many things that I have become frustrated with myself for. Why have I not yet mastered Mandarin? Why don’t I know everything about teaching yet? Why haven’t I seen all of Beijing? Why haven’t I managed this, why haven’t I sorted that? Once again I have found myself wanting everything, here and now.
But, to prevent the same mistakes from being made and to achieve all that I want to achieve in the future, I will have to train my patience, I will have to learn to be more patient with myself.
It seems that patience really is one of life’s hardest art forms to master…
